Ammunition for Arguments.

There's been some doubt as to whether the Gators are up to the challenge of handling the best offense in college history come Thursday. What follows is some stats and facts that you can use should you run into any of these doubters. 

Look to the past, it doesn't pay to consider oneself or to be considered by others better than the Gators. The last time the Florida Gators were ranked 2nd, favored, and facing a number 1, they won, covered, and in keeping with BCS logic and humor, remained at number 2. Where's the love? Where's the belief? Nowhere.  There's a saying from the hood: You know you're doing well when they're hating-- and I assure you, they are hating, verily. This is all because they can't handle the motherfucking veritas: The Gators are the best all around football team in the NCAA. 

If there's one steady truth about the Gators this season, and something which I have harped upon ceaselessly, it is that they play their best when they are not considered the best. Let's talk top-ten-ranked opponents. The Gators have faced and beaten three top ten teams, all of which were ranked ahead of the Gators at the time they played. Those teams were ranked sixth, fourth, and first (GA, LSU, BAMA, respectively). The Laters on the other hand have faced two top ten teams and lost to one. The Laters lost to Texas (5th at the time) but beat Texas Tech (2nd at the time), who, like the Gators, lost to Ole Miss. 

Dominique Franks, a Laters' cornerback, said in so many words that Timbow sucks. Moreover, he said Timbow doesn't stand up to the likes of the Okee, the Texan, and, what's worse, the Gay Sweater Guy. The Timbow laughed it off when asked about the slight, and unsurprisingly, Franks is now unavailable for comment. At least this much is clear: Franks has a lot of balls or a little bit of brains to proffer such shit. Clearly this guy doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, but soon, he will. It seems the only way to shush this boy's mouth is with a little Tebow-- and what you don't want is a little Tebow, right Harvard Gator?

Something one surely doesn't want is a more-motivated Timbow. I have mentioned it countless times: The Timbow plays best when doubted most. Ask Geno Hayes and how talking shit about Timbow worked out for him and his team. Hayes unavailable for comment? Try Ricky Jean-Francois, ask that fat bastard how mouthing off 'bout the Timbow effectively motivated the already-inexplicably-most-motivated-240-pounder- in-college-sports to summarily fist-fuck the Tigers in front of 90K+ people.

It borders on hilarity when a defensive back from the most God-awful pass defense conference questions the greatness of the greatest college player in history. The Little Dozen's defenses are, in a word, atrocious. The only Little Dozen team whose pass defense is not in the bottom 30 nationally is Colorado at no. 74. The next best is Nebraska at No. 90. Awesome. Sounds like firm ground from which to talk shit. The remaining stifling defensive teams are: Texas Tech 91, Texas A&M 93, Oklahoma 98, Baylor 102, Kansas State 105, Texas 109, Oklahoma State 110, Kansas 113, Iowa State 115 and Missouri 117. 

The Florida Gators pass defense (ranked 16) has allowed only 10 passing touchdowns all year and have held opponents to an average of 174 yards per game. The Laters' pass defense (ranked 98, compare with FIU ranked 67) have allowed 20 passing touchdowns and have allowed opponents to rack up 253 yards per game. 

Not convincing enough? Let's talk interceptions. The Gators are 2nd in the NCAA with 24 of those fuckers. That's more than every team but Boston College (26). And that's seven more than the Laters. Doesn't sound like a big difference? How about that in the Little Dozen they throw the ball 3000 times more than the SEC? Intercepting the ball more often when given fewer opportunities is the definition of efficient and effective pass defense.

And then there's the argument that SEC quarterbacks cannot throw the ball as well as the Little Dozen, and so therefore the teams run more than they throw. Quizas. Then let's look at the running defenses. On paper the Gators and Laters are evenly matched against the run. The Gators' rush defense is ranked 14th and the Laters are ranked 15th. The Gators allow an average of 105.3 yards per game and the Laters average 106. Both teams have had basically the same amount of carries against, the Gators with 411 and the Laters with 425. The average per carry is the same too, with the Gators' opponents averaging 3.33 and the Laters averaging 3.24. Looking at these stats one could reasonably conclude that the matchup is even and should cancel each other out. But one would be a foolish fuck fool for thinking such malarky.

Why? Touchdowns. You know, those 6-point things that the Gators always score? Right, those. Well, the Laters allowed 18 of those things on the ground this season. That's a fucking lot of rushing touchdowns, especially when added to the 20 passing td's scored by Later opponents. As I've mentioned before, I'm no Gator Scientist, but that's something like 38 touchdowns allowed. The Gators' touchdown total against the run? 9. Nine. Nine times (what movie?). Nine times the Gators have fucked up and allowed someone to run the rock into the endzone. That's half the amount of touchdowns than that of the Laters in rushing and passing. I want half! 

So, half as much equals twice as good, right? I think so. 

Also, enough with the Laters' offensive line lovefest. I've had it with this nonsense. Yes, they are good, maybe great. But they block children, not grown men from the South. Granted, the Laters have allowed only 11 sacks all season. Impressive, but not by much. The Gators have allowed only 16, so the difference is somewhat negligible. The size of the Laters' big uglies have also been flouted as superior to that of the Gators' previous opponents. The Laters' line weighs an average of 310 pounds. Big, but not unseen. Bama's offensive line averages 307 pounds and from what I've seen, is more physical. The Gators held the run-happy tide to 136 yards rushing. Also remember the Laters will be without their 2nd leading rusher, DeMarco Murray. Murray was also the Laters' breakout threat. Now with him gone the Laters will be more predictable running the ball as they'll have to do so in between the tackles. Unless, of course, they dare to test the outside speed of the Gators' outside backers. 

Let me close with this: The Laters have faced one top 50 defense in the country this season-- Texas, who were ranked 50th. And they lost to them. The Gators have faced 10 top 40 defenses and beaten them all. Moreover, the Gators are one of five SEC teams ranked in the top 15 in total defense, and note that 11 of 12 SEC schools are in the nation's top 50 defenses. 

Go Argue.

Go Gators.