LA ESQUINA

Welcome back all and apologies for the long two-week delay (I take my bye weeks too). No worries though, I have made up for this transgression with an extra long and insightful edition of LA ESQUINA on the eve of the biggest game of the year…so far. So grab your morning coffee, kick back and enjoy the article before slogging through another miserable pre-game Friday.

The truth is I have been in solitary confinement sobbing uncontrollably since the Tebow injury. It was horrendous, awful to watch live and even worst the next 100 times on replay. Fear not, I have spoken to god himself and am assured that little baby jesus Timmy Tebow will be playing on Saturday. More on this later but first lets discuss the Kentucky game.

Last week I put out an APB for (1) our pass rush, (2) Moody, (3) competent receivers, (4) Will Hill, (5) Brandon Spikes, and (6) Gamebreakers. Lets see how they responded:

(1) The pass rush was fine; we did not see an orgasmic explosion of sacks (no pun intended) but the defense was dominant, best game they played yet. This is what we thought we were going to get all year.

(2) Moody had a great game and I still feel he is being underutilized. He made a very nice catch and run out of the backfield too…something we haven’t seen much from him this year. After last week’s performance and with the Tebow injury he should see the ball more, especially in short yardage situations. He has great size relative to our other two backs, it’s a no brainer.

(3) The receivers were ok, there were no glaring drops but no real explosive passing plays either, then again we didn’t need any. Nice face touchdown catch by Cooper in the end zone by the way. Why don’t we see more of this with his height? Maybe we will from now on. White man can jump.

(4) Will Hill has still not made his presence felt this year…has he failed to improve or is it because nobody is challenging our secondary? We’ll find out soon enough but I want this kid to take that Reggie Nelson leap…he has that kind of talent. Put it all together Thrill.

(5) Brandon Spikes – some people make tackles and some people kill people…Brandon Spikes was straight crushing fools at Kentucky. You know when two people collide it usually is pretty neutral and the ball carrier goes down and they both kind of fall to the side…with Spikes it’s more like a one-way pulverizing pendulum. Welcome to the 2009 season Brandon, keep bringing the nasty shit.

(6) Gamebreakers…there really wasn’t any one guy that stood out but many guys played really well and we got some big plays in unconventional fashion (e.g. special teams punt block for a TD, good amount of turnovers etc.). We need more of it…keep it coming boys.

I predicted that the Gators would roll over Kentucky by a score of 42-14. The actual score was 41-7. Not bad, although it could have been a lot worst for the cats, the score was 31-0 after the end of the first quarter.

Enough patting yourself on the back, it’s time to focus on big bad LSU. First, the bad news. They are undefeated. They have just as many 4 and 5 star players as we do (seriously, equal talent level which is always very scary, only LSU, USC and maybe ALABAMA can say that). We are playing at LSU and more importantly at night where they haven’t lost a game in their last 32 tries. Yes, that last sentence is factually accurate, look it up. They beat us in 1997 at night and we were then also ranked #1 in the country (it scares me just to write this sentence). Of course, pretty boy bachelor Jesse Palmer was the QB back then, not little baby jesus Timmy Tebow or 5 star Gatorade player of the year John Brantley. 3 out of 4 CBS experts covering the game are picking the tigers. Not the announcers though, they are on our side…I especially love Gary Danielsen…if you take a step back and really listen to that guy commentate you will be very impressed. I think he is one of the most knowledgeable and insightful guys out there, trust me, have a listen next time, but I digress. Back to Death Valley, that place is said to be so loud for night games that earthquake level readings have been registered by the LSU geology department (this is due to the physics of the stadium architecture coupled with the fact that these lunatic Cajuns will have had the whole day to get absolutely shitfaced). Some of their players said they felt their bodies shake while on the field during the last game against the Gators in Death Valley -- it was that loud. That’s just not right. Lastly and most importantly, Tebow may or may not play. If that doesn’t scare you I don’t know what will.

ON THE PROVERBIAL OTHER HAND, we are also undefeated and ranked #1 in the country. We have the top offense in the SEC (and close to tops in the nation, we do have the top running game in the nation) and we have the top defense in the nation (both scoring and yards against). We have the longest winning streak in the nation. We still have Brandon Spikes, Jeff Demps, Rico Suave Aaron Hernandez (who as predicted had a big game last week) and the rest of the bad boys along with a far superior coaching staff that has in indelible track record when given more than 1 week to prepare for a game. More importantly, I think we have a clear advantage on both sides of the line of scrimmage. Their DL is banged up and has been able to put very little pressure on the QB this year while our OL has been phenomenal all year, especially in the ground game. They have been largely inept running the ball and conversely, nobody has come close to running the ball successfully against us. No matter who plays QB for us we will have the best quarterback on the field -- I sincerely believe that. Moreover, Vegas has us at 7.5 point favorites…and I trust Vegas over any talking head CBS “expert”. In fact, La Esquina is thinking about making a large wager on this game, a grand sounds about right. It just seems like easy money. Then again, that’s why they call it gambling. Plus, I wouldn’t want the football gods mad at me for messing with the sacredness of the violent ballet that is GATOR FOOTBALL. We’ll see, that will be a game-time decision, much like whether Tebow plays or not. On that note….

Has there ever been any more discussion about a player’s health or status at any level, college or pro, than there was this week about little baby jesus Timmy Tebow? It was actually getting nauseating. Every sports writer thinks he is a doctor and knows exactly what Urban should do. CHILD PLEASE!

Meyer is in a tough spot. If he lets Tebow play people will say all he cares about is winning and that he was reckless with the health of the best player in the nation and the worlds most renown young Christian. If he doesn’t let him play the chances we lose the game increase significantly. I just hope that no matter what happens, Tebow comes out of this healthy. If he doesn’t, it will be an abject disaster for Timmy, Urban, the gator nation and mankind as a whole – and that is not hyperbole folks. However, my personal inclination is that he will play and here’s why: he’s been lifting since Monday, practicing since Tuesday (plenty of time to knock the rust off) and it would literally take an act of God for him to be denied a shot at avenging the 2007 loss in tiger stadium. I just hope Timmy is forthcoming with the doctors about his symptoms (or hopefully lack there of) because I really can’t bare the thought of him being further damaged (no homo).

**CELL PHONE TANGENT** For those of you who live under a rock, you might not have heard that ONCE AGAIN for what seems like the 5^th year in a row LSU fans got a hold of some gator player’s phone numbers, namely John Brantley, Riley Cooper and none other than coach Urban Meyer. How the fu*k does this continue to happen? Do they have somebody working at Verizon committing corporate espionage? This is absurd, not to mention a massive invasion of privacy. It’s got to be terribly annoying and inconvenient to be getting hundreds and maybe even thousands of calls and texts every day cursing you and saying all kinds of unpleasant things. Especially for Urban who we all know uses that phone like a recruiting weapon of mass destruction. Can we find this Verizon mole and make him walk the plank please? Enough with this stupid cell phone garbage.

On a more technical note, I think we are going to learn a lot about our team this week. We will know who the coaches think our “starters” really are. The coaches have been playing musical chairs on the d-line and o–line and with our safeties all year by embracing this whole notion of 7 starters on the o-line and 3 starting safeties etc.…NO. That’s utter bullshit. It’s time to stop giving a shit about who gets playing time and who is happy and who is not…it’s time to put our best players on the field and leave them on the field. This is the big one. I don’t want Ahmad black substituted out of the game on a regular basis…I want our 5 best starting o-lineman to play the whole game (this one should be easier seeing as how Matt Patchan is out for the year with a torn ACL) and I want to see who is going to get the bulk of the carries at running back.

There is nothing to hide anymore…open up the playbook, let it all loose...give us the full Monty Urban. I have a feeling we run a fake punt in this game…I don’t know why but I just do. Just like I have a feeling that Major Wright is due for at least one big decapitation this week. It’s been a while and I need something funky…think back to the Jemalle Cornelius fake punt in the SEC championship game against Arkansas in 2006 from our own 19-yard line. Lets bring those big hairy balls back Urban. Lets put our foot on their throats and keep it there!

On the running backs, I am betting Demps gets most of the carries and deservedly so, that guy’s acceleration and top speed is better than Percy’s. He’s not a better player because he can’t make the sick full speed cuts that Percy could and is not as dynamic overall….but if he gets a whole WATCHOUT! After Demps though I want more Moody than Rainey…that’s just me.

I am also anxious to see Deonte back in action…that guy needs to flat out make some plays in this game. All of you recruitniks out there should remember three years back when we were really high on two WR prospects and thought we were going to get them both. One was the #1 wide receiver recruit in the nation (the 6’5 Terrence Tolliver who now starts for LSU) and the other was Deonte Thompson. Well, to be honest neither has done much to date…although Tolliver is starting to come on this year, but this is his 3^rd year, he was supposed to be a Julio Jones instant impact type of guy. The kiddie gloves are off for both of these guys and the pressure is on, we will see whose star will shine and who will lay an egg. Here’s to hoping Deonte’s hammy is 100% and that Janoris and Joe can hold down stick man Tolliver and company.

This leads me to what I think will be one of the more intriguing match-ups to watch all game. Our secondary against their powerful receivers. Besides Tolliver the other big dog they have and really their true #1 receiver is Brandon Lafell. You remember that guy, he’s been around forever. Fifth year senior with all the talent in the world but best known for not having the best hands. Well, he seems to have put it all together this year with 5 TDs already this season. McShay has him projected very high for next year’s draft. If you will allow me to go on a Mctangent for a minute, McShay also has Carlos Dunlap as the #1 overall player in the draft next year. Yes, you heard me right, he has him gong #1 overall as of today and is making Mario Williams comparisons. The truth Dunlap has been more hype than production this year. If Dunlap finally has the big brake out game we all expect and the gator pass rush gets to Jordan Jefferson, our aforementioned match-up between the gator secondary and the LSU WRs will be forgotten because LSU won’t be able to catch a pass with their QB buried 6 feet under. That said, keep an eye out for the Dunlap vs. Ciron Black match-up. Black is their all world left tackle (also projected very high in the draft and probably the best left tackle in the college game today). What happens when the immovable object meets the irresistible force, we’ll find out Saturday at 8pm.

Folks, this is the goose bumps game. This is the big SEC matchup where we can see the bone jarring hits and sense the deafening intensity. This is the one we have all been waiting for. We will separate the men from the boys and the pretenders from the contenders in this one. My prediction, gators win by double digits no matter who is at quarterback. I just don’t see them scoring on our defense. They might get some turnovers and maybe even score on us with their defense or special teams (highly possible due to the noise factor) but it won’t be enough. Good guys win, bad guys lose. Gators 20 LSU 7.

Go bet $1,000

Go Gators