Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Throne.

So, okay, if I believed in god (nonbelievers don't capitalize unless referring to Timbow) and celebrated Christmas or the Christmas-envied Hanukkah, this is what I would wish for. Apart from its radiant beauty, it fully reclines inches from a wall "allowing more efficient use of space" and has cup holders "generously sized to hold most cans, bottles and drink cups" and, I suspect, your favorite bong for those stress-relieving halftime bongassos.

Thing costs a grand, but I think it's worth way more in bragging capital. Not to mention never having to call seat-back, backies, shotgun, or whatever other equivalent regional and operative phrase for "calling your seat" you might use.

Though I do think it could use some additions. Perhaps a hidden toilet? Cooler or hose connected to a keg? Massager? By massager I mean a midget living underneath the cushion.

Any other suggestions?

Go Relax, it's going to be a long season.
Go Gators.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does the midget give blowjobs and make pizza?

Caro said...

My dad saw this and wanted to order one but my mom said that it didn't match the house's decor.
Grounds for divorce if you ask me.

Go Frank.
Go Gators.