LA ESQUINA (early edition)

We are a flawed team. I don’t want to continue to sound like a negative Nancy but we have to acknowledge the truth. And the truth is that we are flawed offensively. Probably the most flawed #1 team since the 2007 LSU team that won the national championship with 2 losses and about a hundred 4^th down conversions. Here are the big problems right now:

· ATROCIOUS DEAD ZONE OFFENSE: It’s inexplicable really. We march the ball up and down the field and then get inside the 20 and act like we forgot how to play offensive football. Somebody commented to me that it’s almost to the point where it’s a mental thing. Some sort of psychological barrier that we have developed which is triggered every time we cross the 20. I hope not. And if this is true, get Dr. Phil, get Oprah…get somebody in there and get this thing fixed right now. Urban admitted earlier this week that they were deviating from their “call sheet” (the pre-designed red zone plays the coaches draw up before every game). So maybe the coaches are getting too cute also. Maybe they all need to just relax and stop worrying about it…go to some Asian massage parlor, have some beers and just “relax” (or should I say release?). Get your mind right guys and just do inside the 20 what you have been doing so well outside of it. One play in particular really bothered me, on that series where Timmy got stuffed inside the 1 yard line repeatedly, why operate out of the shotgun formation? By the time the ball is snapped you are back at the 5 yard line instead of the 1. How about Timmy under center with a QB sneak under there (no pun intended)? This play seems to be good for 1 or 2 yards in the NFL with much smaller QBs than Tebow. You’re going to tell me he can’t pick up 5 inches there? Also, we absolutely must look for Hernandez more in the red zone. He is too big a target to ignore in that part of the field.

· TIMMY NEEDS A SLUMPBUSTER: Take a page out of the Steve Phillips handbook Tim. This is the worst I have seen you play. I will chalk it up to Dan Mullen’s familiarity with our offense and personnel but going forward you have to pick it up. I know that you are extremely religious and into this virginity thing but it’s time to drop the charade. You have wet your whistle numerous times and I suggest you do so again immediately. As in every day this week in fact, with a new subject, and the uglier the better. That’s how slumpbusters work. If you don’t believe me, go chat up some baseball players, they coined the phrase.

· GET THE KILLER INSTINCT BACK: Last year we got up early on teams and then stomped on them. We buried them alive and usually before half time. I am not calling for that same level of ruthlessness (that’s a tall task without Percy and Louis) but I do think we are letting teams off the hook too easily this year, and it’s mainly due to inopportune turnovers (as if there is such a thing as opportune turnovers). Against Tennessee we were driving inside the 5 to make the score 30-6 when Timmy fumbled and they came back to score. In Arkansas we shot ourselves in the foot repeatedly with multiple red zone fumbles. In this game against Mississippi State we were about to blow the lid off in the first half before throwing an interception that resulted in a 14 point swing. The score was 13-10 but if we score there it’s a 20-3 game going into the half…and we were getting the ball back to start the third quarter. Get that assassin’s mentality back and stab some of these teams in the heart…and even if you think they are dead pick up the knife and stab them again…then twist the knife some more and if they are still moving pull it out and start slashing throats maniacally (just in case there’s any Georgia fans reading this, please understand that this is all metaphoric of course). We keep letting teams hang around and hang around and one of these days we are going to get tripped up and it’s going to cost us the national championship.

Before I go batsh*t, let’s change gears for a bit and discuss some of the questions raised in last week’s article to see how things played out.

· “Does Dunlap finally bust out and have a 3 sack game?” Actually, he did. He had exactly 3 sacks, multiple other tackles for a loss and the deflection that led to the Dustin Doe interception return for a touchdown. He played what I think was his best game as a Gator save for maybe the national championship game last year where he was defensive MVP. He is a top 10 pick next year (maybe top 5) and would be dumb not to go. Especially since the NFL’s collective bargaining agreement is up after next year and the owners are hell bent on instituting a rookie cap like the one the NBA has in place. That could literally mean a loss of tens of millions of dollars for the top prospects compared to what they can make now. Besides, after what happened to Bradford and Gresham this year and Cornelius Ingram last year, I think he has to go. Although, his dad is on the gator blogs and swears that Big Los is coming back. Stay tuned.

· “How does our interior D hold up with the following players out (Marsch, Howard, Trattou, Antwine and B-Spikes)? And yes I know they said Spikes was 50-50 but in Urban Meyer code that means there’s no way in hell he gets on the field. Remember when Deonte was “probable” for the Kentucky and LSU games?” The answer is that we held up fabulously. Terron Sanders was a terror and Omar Hunter played big too. These guys really stepped up and shut down one of the best running backs in the country in Anthony Dixon. When we get the other guys back we should be that much better. And as predicted, Spikes didn’t play. Although Urban teased us a little bit with this one, he had Spikes fully dressed in pads jumping up and down on the sidelines…but Spikes still sat out. He should be good to go for the pups this week in one of our biggest rivalry games.

· “How does Janoris and the rest of the secondary respond after their worst outing of the year?” They were lights out. We didn’t give up any significant yardage on the air and Janoris blanketed his man all game. As far as Joe Haden, you all get a big CHILD PLEASE! He’s the best. I still would like to see more big plays from our safeties this year. I am dying for a Major Wright special. Wright’s been solid and had a nice pick in this game but I don’t think he’s really cracked anybody since Manny Johnson in the Oklahoma game (which by the way might be my favorite hit of all time).

· “Does the Mullen spread give our D any major headaches?” Nope. Not much more to say here. Our D toyed with them all game.

· “Does Mullen bust out any trick plays? I wouldn’t put it past him…I am sure he wants this one bad.” Indeed he did. Mullen tried a fake punt but we sniffed it out. The guy fell but David Nelson was right there ready to make the tackle regardless. This was a huge play as it led to our only red zone touchdown (the sweet Chris Rainey TD out of the power I-formation). Big ups to Rainey by the way, he played one of his best games as a gator not only running the ball hard and scoring but also blocking a punt for the second time this year.

· “Does Moody finally have a huge break-out game? I think he explodes here…like a virgin on prom night.” Nope. I was dead wrong about this one. Even with Jeff Demps getting hurt with a neck injury and coming out of the game, Moody only got 5 carries. Rainey took over almost all of the RB duties. Insiders on the blog have said that there is an issue with Moody behind the scenes but the coaching staff doesn’t want to air Moody’s dirty laundry. For the life of me I can’t imagine what it is. He is a 5 star recruit, the son of a preacher and a good guy by all accounts. If you are going to give him 5 carries why not give him 12-15? Every time he touches the ball he excels. Let’s ride that horse!

· “Do we keep chucking the ball or go back to the power running game?” Ummm…neither really, we went back to the dead zone sloppiness with Addumbio.

· “Can Timmy put up some stats and build some Heisman momentum?” I hate to say it but I think Timmy might have played his way out of the Heisman race. Unless he can go on a sick streak the rest of the year (which seems doubtful at the moment) he’ll just have to settle for 1 Heisman…and maybe 3 rings. Not bad. He would need at least one absurd game like he had in 2007 against South Carolina when he scored 7 touchdowns in one game. Yes, that happened…look it up. So far this year Timmy has 8 passing touchdowns and 4 interceptions.

Good news though, WE WON THE FUC*ING GAME! We are #1 in the country in all polls (the Alabama hiccup with Tennessee didn’t hurt) and are still the biggest baddest boys in town. Nobody likes to agonize their way through victories like gator fans though. Just remember people, we are in the golden era of Florida football. Look around to our retarded cousins FSU and UM…thank god every day that you are all part of the lucky sperm club and were fortunate to be born into the Gator nation.

Let’s chat about the Georgia Bulldogs (a.k.a. the puppies) for a bit. I can’t remember the last time UF fans were so nonchalant about playing Georgia. Where is the hype for this game? Yes they are having a down year and yes they got blown up by Tennessee but I want you to remember these three (3) things:

(1) Georgia historically is one of our biggest if not the biggest rival and anything goes in a rivalry game. We smoked them last year and something tells me they will be ready.

(2) They had a bye week last week so have had two full weeks to prepare for us. Give a good coach like Richt an extra 168 hours to prepare and that does not usually bode well.

(3) Irrespective of how crappy they have played all year, a victory against us can make their season. They will leave it all out on the field, you can bet your ass.

This is why we must remember the aforementioned Killer Instinct. Remember to twist the knife guys. This is still Georgia and they have some of the best recruits in the nation. Starting with the Randy Moss clone A.J. Green at receiver. I think he is the best receiver in college football after Dez Bryant and David Nelson (just kidding, we are still waiting for the AMBER alert results to come back on David -- SINGING: Oh where in the world is Carmen San Diego…I mean David Nelson).

Enough funny business though, this is serious stuff and nobody will be laughing if we drop this game to Georgia. That is why most of all, I want the gators to remember the 2007 incident. You know what I am talking about, the hot dogging where the entire Georgia team came out to celebrate their first touchdown and started jumping up and down in our end zone. To this day one of the most disturbing and upsetting college football experiences I have ever had. I am surprised a riot didn’t break out. This of course led to the infamous Urban Meyer timeouts as we were absolutely embarrassing the puppies last year. Conversely, one of the most joyous college football experiences I have ever had. Gomer and I were at the game and you could absolutely sense that we had broken the entire state of Georgia’s spirit. God bless the ruthless Gators. I want them back!

Lets go over some questions La Esquina has heading into this rivalry game and we can circle back next week to assess how the boys did.

· Can Joe and Janoris contain A.J. Green?

· Will we put up some points against the horrible Willie Martinez led Georgia defense?

· Can we play the whole game turnover free (please just one game without a pick or fumble)?

· Will Caleb Sturgis miss anymore freaking kicks?

· Will any of the young receivers get in the game? Frankie Hammond anyone?

· How does Timmy respond after his worst game ever as a gator? Since Timmy is from Jacksonville I am sure he will be extra motivated (not that he needs any more motivation given last week’s performance).

· Does Brandon Spikes come back from injury and play like Brandon Spikes? He’s got to know his gator career is coming to an end. Go make the most of it Brandon.

I think we either blow Georgia out or outright lose the game. We can’t continue to squeak by teams with fortunate calls and the like. Either we start coming together and facialize Georgia or we finally drop one. It will not be another squeaky ugly gator win. It will be boom or bust this week. La Esquina has consulted the Oracle from the Matrix and that is what home girl had to say. I am the eternal optimist and have the utmost faith in our guys until proven otherwise. Gators roll 35-14.

Go Play Like Champions,

Go Twist the Knife,

Go Gators