Timbow 4:13

Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

The way this year's Heisman trophy was determined conveyed much doubt in Timbow. But if history teaches is to teach us anything, it is that the Timbow is at his best when he is doubted the most. Paul Horning, Billy Simms, and now Tim Tebow are the only players in the 74 year history of the Bronze Stiff Armer Trophy to win more first place votes than the actual winner. Al Gore did it in 2000, but that was only a presidential election. This is college football. This is serious business. One does not deny to the best the designation of the best, not without consequences. The Timbow is the best player in college football, arguably the best all time. Sam Bradford's trophy is, for lack of more respectful words, a fucking fraud.

Out of the 904 total ballots, 154 did not have Timbow's name.

Understand what that means.

It means that there were 154 voters who didn't think Timbow was even one of the top three players in college football. It means that for the second time in Heisman history, the candidate with the most first place votes finished 3rd. It means that if you think that bias was not in play or are unable to extract your head from your ass and instead think it was a close race, or every player is so equally deserving, or whatever other untenable, truth-deflecting bullshit I've heard put forth to justify the nationally-televised robbery of Timbow's trophy, then consider that Timbow received only 184 points total in the southwest (compare Bradford's 360 and McCoy's 313). It means the Heisman is the most farcical popularity contest since prom court elections. It means, most importantly, Timbow lost. It means there will be hell to pay, and the Timbow is coming to collect.

It means that now, the Timbow seeks redemption. Now, to prove He is the best, He must annihilate the best. Now, Timbow is motivated, post-Ole-Miss-lead-us-out-of-the-valley-of-the-shadow-of-death-motivated. Now, blood must be spilled so that honor may be restored. Now, the mighty Timbow will seek to exact His righteous vengeance. Now, the Timbow will walk this path, a path beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyrannies of evil voters.

Soon there will be a reckoning, a reckoning from which no voter, no analyst, no one can save the Laters. For soon the great day of His wrath will come and only those in the orange and blue will be able to stand. For soon, the Timbow will strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to steal and destroy the Timbow's glory. And the Laters will know his name is the Timbow when He lays His vengeance upon them.

Maybe he'll find some lost children in the process.

Go Shepherd the Weak.
Go Gators.