Thursday, February 26, 2009

Pay It Forward.


UF President Bernard Machen sent out an email last night asking Gator alumni across the world over to help. The University of Florida has taken some major hits in both budget cuts and a shrinking endowment (more on this soon). These cuts have lead to a drop in rankings, researchers bailing, and hiring freezes across the board. 

To combat this growing problem, Machen seeks to form a grassroots organization comprised of UF alumni and friends to advocate and harass local, state, and federal legislatures to stop cutting educational funding. Florida has the lowest tuition in the country and has no income tax. How do they do it? The state of Florida subsidizes it, just like your gas, to keep it artificially low. Well, this is coming to an end and the state is expected to see massive tuition increases over the next 5 years with increased student matriculation, but with a decreased overall budget. 

The organization is called Gators For Higher Education. It's free to join. 

Go Pay It Forward.
Go Gators.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Amazing Tebow/Spikes Locker Room Video

On a sad day when awful news about Carl Johnson broke out (and by the way, we should give him the benefit of the doubt -- as we do with everyone else in this country until proven guilty) I think it's important to share this incredible Gator locker room footage...it really heats up at about the 4 minute mark with Spikes and Tebow (the former during half time of the National Championship game). If this doesn't give you goose bumps you are not human.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Chills run thru My Spine in '09

Homecoming for Urban and Utah?????

Ladies and GentleGators

There are some rumors that have grabbed my attention. This stuff is better than anything Gossip Girl could send out in a mass text message (the only reason I know about this show is because I live with my GF, if not I would be watching Dirty Jobs....trust).

Apparently Lya Wodraska of the Salt Lake Tribuen has been asked to go on the air this morning on a Jacksonville radio station and talk about a possible Utah-Florida matchup.


Reason being is that our non-conference schedule is weaker than Wall Street Gator's sex drive after 12 Black Label's on the rocks.

Unworthy Opponents:
Sept 5th: Charleston Southern
Sept 12th: Troy
Nov 21st: FIU (best team in Miami)

This would be great for both fan bases and great for National TV.

Will it happen?

Probably not.

Both coaches are great friends and to remix a schedule at this late junncture is unlikely.

But I have to admit this def. got my interests up.

I mean Tenn. is coming to the Swamp Sept 19th for their execution, but other than that no home games appeal to me as much this season. I feel a tougher schedule is something that the defending National Champs require.

If not in 2009 def in 2010 or 2011.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Kiffin the Klepto


Kiffin was up to dirty deeds right after the Nu'Keese incident.
Pretty soon Kiffin will have burnt every bridge in the Southeast.

Last one Gator Face...

I had to cause its Funny and Cute

The Golden Telephone



A man decided to write a book about churches around the southeast United States. He started by flying to Baton Rouge and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.
The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Tuscaloosa, Knoxville, Tallahassee,Columbia, Athens, and then further south to Tallahassee, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Gainesville, Florida. Upon entering a Church in Gainesville, he saw the usual golden telephone.
But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: $0.35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Father Jones, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only $0.35 cents a call. Why?"
The priest, smiling benignly, replied : "Son, you're in Gainesville, Florida now, home of the Florida Gators - 3 times BCS Football Champions, 2 times Basketball Champions; it's the city with the prettiest women, the best parties, and the best state university -- it's got the best hospital, great food, great bars, great neighborhoods and some of the friendliest people in the world! You're in God's Country.... it's a local call."

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Big Game Tonight.


Big game for Gators Bball tonight as they take on Kentucky tonight. Florida is getting 4.5 pts.

Also in other news....
-"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Tim Tebow allows to live."

Even if you lost your Job you can still make it out to the Swamp for Gamedays....No Excuses...Recession or No Recession ....Go Gators

Hey, did you know?




This one's going out to johnny-come-lately, the Jota.

I'm on a BOAT!!!!

Video has lost its ability to be imbedded but check it..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU



Thanks to Phil ze German for this....

Anyone on this blog ever fuck a mermaid?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Kiffin is so anti-Urban, he should answer to "Rural."

Last Lane Kiffin post I swear to Timbow. This guy Doyle really rips into him.

And I enjoyed it.....

"When you're born on third base and fool yourself into thinking you've hit a triple..."

Tebow not ready for NFL...Hahah...Super Bowl winning coach doesn't think so.

Monday Morn' BJ


I am going to try to put some interesting stuff up every Monday morning.

First my status...my hands are shaking and my liver is bleeding...i feel like crap because I was in Miami this weekend for a quick rip and dip wedding....Needless to say I ended up throwing up under the bridal parties table......Still I was a stud the 8 hrs preceeding that.

A website dedicated to the new bastard child of the SEC.

Lamo had to apologize to Pahokee HS as well.



Lastly here are a few words about Tim Tebow from Jon Grudens interview in the Sun Sentinel...
  • Q: The spread is being run in high schools and colleges, is it possible it could be a base offense in the NFL one day?
  • A: "No question. The hard part is, you have to isolate the option. That's why Tim Tebow is so interesting to me. He's like Brandon Jacobs playing quarterback. He's 250 pounds. He's the strongest human being who's ever played the position. Ever. He will kick the living [expletive] out of a defensive lineman. He'll fight anybody. He is rare. Tebow is the kind of guy who could revolutionize the game. He's the 'wildcat' who can throw. Most of the teams that have the wildcat back there, it's Ronnie Brown, it's Jerious Norwood, it's whoever you want to say it is. This guy here is 250 pounds of concrete cyanide, man. And he can throw. He throws well enough at any level to play quarterback."
  • Q: Most people are dismissing Tebow as a quarterback in the NFL.
  • A: "He can play quarterback in the NFL. When he was a high school senior, they played Armwood in the state championship game. I have tape. He has an 80-yard touchdown run that put them in the lead. When it flipped around, and Armwood had the ball, what position do you think Tebow was playing? He was playing nose guard — and he disrupted about 10 plays. This guy is totally different. He's got Rich Gannon, Drew Brees, that kind of makeup as a team guy. What he said after the Ole Miss game, I said, 'That's my favorite football player I've ever seen in my whole life.' I said, 'I want Florida to win every game that kid plays from now on.'"

The whole article here 

Go rub one out
Go Concrete Cyanide
Go Gators

Gator History - The Hit




The year was 1994 and the hitman was Monty Grow...watch and enjoy...the best part is the QB trying to run a play with his chin strap hanging from his face. This is what's coming for "NewKeys" Richardson. Word is the gators already have his picture up in the weight room.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Caption Contest!


Ok, Faithful, we here at MGN are coming up with new ways to keep you entertained without succumbing to the mind-numbingly lucrative online porn industry, doesn't mean we wont, just means we're trying other avenues. In pursuit of this effort, we give you our caption contest.

What do you win? You don't win anything. At least nothing other than the satisfaction of besting your fellow Faithful and having your very own post celebrating your creative awesomeness. Maybe you'll get rub and tug from Ol' Bill (they're epic, I hear), but I'm not making promises.

So, write as a comment what you think is the best caption for the above picture. In a few days, we'll vote on a winner.

Go be creative.
Go Gators.

OH no you didn't!!!!!!!







Lane Kiffin....you fucked up....you have another thing coming

Thursday, February 5, 2009

WSG's Recruiting Recap

Without further ado, here’s the initial version of the “WSG Recruiting Recap” (think of me as a poor man’s Mel Kiper):

I want to start this off by providing a little factoid that will make you all feel better about the UT fiasco (it made me feel better when I first read it). Kedric Johnson, from Palmetto (who by the way had 19 sacks as a junior in high school – that’s a lot) failed to meet a stringent rivals.com deadline for submitting his highlight tape which prevented him from being bumped up to 4 stars. Had he submitted that tape in time, the folks at Rivals assure us that he would have procured 4 star status and thus catapulted this year’s recruiting class to an average star rating of 4.0 (something that’s only been done twice before, both times by USC). Hence, the reason we didn’t crack the top 5 this year in most rankings is that we had such a small class (as you can see above, only 16 signees). Not to fear, this only leaves more room for extra studs next year – besides, I’ll take quality over quantity any day and twice on national signing day (Saturday’s at 3am…that’s another story).

One more thing to keep in mind, we still have a good shot at landing Orson Charles, the #2 ranked tight end of gator infamy for dropping and shattering the BCS crystal ball last year on a recruiting visit as a junior. He has postponed his commitment until after national signing day (sometimes they do that, see Terrell Pryor last year and Bryce Brown this year…he’s the #1 overall player in Rivals who is contemplating de-committing from the WHO – I pray to god that he pulls a Nu’Keese on them) and if he signs with us, that will only further solidify our already excellent class.

Now on to the individual player evaluations, in order of pimp status as per the WSG’s own ranking system (which unlike other pontiffs of scouting, takes into account the player’s ability to get laid, knock people out at bars and a few other unorthodox “beast” factors inexplicably ignored by Rivals and Scouts Inc., among others):

Andre Debose: Wide Receiver | The Muck, FL
height: 6-0 | weight :170 | 40 in 4.43 | cinco estrellas
What else can be said about this man? This is the one we HAD to have…and we got him. Dubbed as the next Percy the expectations are sky high…but then again, they should be, he is the premier recruit at Florida. He should get early playing time and I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up starting at some point mid to late in the season next year. Godspeed.

Gary Brown: Defensive Tackle | Quincy, FL
height: 6-3 | weight 275 | 40 in 4.67 | cinco estrellas
Another 5 star stud d-tackle. Hopefully this one will actually pan out (see John Brown, Omar Hunter and save for 2 plays in the NC game, Torrey Davis). I shouldn’t be unduly harsh on those guys just mentioned, they all still have a ton of upside and are very young (especially Omar Hunter who was professed as the second coming)…but we can’t deny that to date, they haven’t done shit. In fact, Brown and Davis have had a really hard time academically and are lucky to still be with the program. Hopefully Gary Brown is the truth.

Jelani Jenkins: Linebacker | Olney, MD
height: 6-2 |weight: 220 | 40 in 4.45 | cinco estrellas
The 16 year old phenom with the body of a Greek God. He is already 6’2 220 lbs and runs a 4.45 …let that sink in for a second. He can and will, believe it or not, continue to develop a lot physically in the coming years (think about how you looked when you were 16). I can’t wait to see what this guy looks like after Mariotti is done with him – I am thinking a cross between Bo Jackson and Mike Tyson circa 1985. Meyer already dubbed him a future Gator Captain. Again, lofty expectations but seemingly well deserved.

Dee Finley: Defensive Back | New Berlin, NY  
height: 6-1 | weight: 193 | 40 in 4.4 | cuatro estrellas
Another sick nasty safety/db who actually should have been part of last year’s class but didn’t qualify. So he played at New Berlin this year (the vaunted prep school for studs in training) where by all accounts he was a monster. (see this hit on Julio Jones at last year’s all-star game, the look of horror on the other defender’s face is priceless). Another sub 4.4 forty guy who I predict will find a way to get on the field. Side note: As good as they were, Major Wright and Ahmad Black better stay on it this off-season because Will “the Thrill” Hill and Dee Finley will be gunning for some serious playing time.

Xavier Nixon: Offensive Lineman  | Fayetteville, N.C. 
height: 6-6 | weight 263 | 40 in who cares | cuatro estrellas
This is the most underrated recruit in this draft. Look at this kid’s size and athletic ability (apparently he is a great b-ball player and can easily dunk…which says a lot for an O-linemen). He will inevitably add 30lbs to his frame within the next year or two (I’d bet my job on it…haha). That puts him at around 6-7 300lbs with athletic ability to boot…shiiiiiiiiiiiit! He has a legit shot of getting on the field for us as a true freshman next year, more so than anybody else on this list other than Debose. Sidenote: Both his parents are in the military and deployed overseas right now. This means he is disciplined and has a good head on his shoulders, by all accounts a very good student too.

Jon Bostic: Linebacker | Wellington, FL
height: 6-1 | weight: 218 | 40 in 4.59 | cuatro estrellas 
I know Jelani is getting all the hype but don’t sleep on this kid. The coaches said his ability to learn and pick things up at last year’s Friday Night Lights was unparalleled. Apparently he is very coachable and has everything you want in a linebacker, size/speed/instincts. The only thing that worries me is that he’s from Palm Beach. Really? I’d feel more comfortable if he was from Pahokee.

Nick Alajajian: Offensive Lineman | Naples, FL
height: 6-4 | weight: 280 | 40 in who cares | cuatro estrellas
Another stud o-linemen who was very highly rated and recruited, from Naples. He seems to have a real mean streak from looking at his mug shot. That’s all I got on him, he is an o-lineman after all.


Jordan Reed: Quarterback | New London, CT 
height: 6-3 | weight: 235 | 40 in 4.5 | cuatro estrellas
He is a quarterback of the Tebow mold…have you seen him run in his highlight tape? Very impressive. He is a bit of a project (still very raw as a passer and mechanics need some work) but so athletically gifted with his running ability and arm strength. Very well suited to run our offense, it will do him some good to sit behind Tebow and Brantley for a few years before having a real shot to compete to be the Gator Quarterback (which, after Mr. President, is probably the sweetest way to ever be referenced). Just think, 2 co-eds walking by him on University avenue, “Oh my god Jenny that’s the Gator Quarterback”…actually, I shouldn’t just limit that to co-eds, there are plenty of women our age who would love to bang the Gator Quarterback…hell, who hasn’t thought about a bromance with Timmy…be honest.


Kedric Johnson: Defensive End | Palmetto, FL
height: 6-4 | weight: 225 | 40 in 4.69 | tres estrellas
Like I said above, disregard his 3 star status, this kid will be a speed demon off the edge. It will take some time but he could be the next Jarvis Moss.

Joshua Evans: Athlete | Irvington, N.J.
height: 6-2 | weight: 185 | 40 in 4.43 | cuatro estrellas
The only reason this Will Hill clone from NJ dropped this far is because we have such a crowded secondary and I don’t see him getting an PT any time soon. However, by all accounts this is another pure athlete. Played QB in high school along with about 10 other positions on the field – the guy just looks like a football player (much like Ol’ Bill is a dead ringer for Nelson from the Simpsons).


Mike Gillislee: Running Back | Deland, FL
height: 6-1 | weight: 205 | 40 in 4.4 | cuatro estrellas 
He is a running back, which we really don’t need, but he is fast as shit and Urban loves speed so maybe he can contribute on special teams early on. I don’t see this kid playing a significant role for quite some time, just too many horses in front of him with Rainey, Demps and Moody.


Jonotthan Harrison: Offensive Lineman | Groveland, FL
 height: 6-4 | weight: 290 | 40 in 5.1 | cuatro estrellas
Another huge lineman with an impressive physique. Also has a 3.9 GPA…I am starting to recognize a theme here…Urban gets smart hard working kids with high character…and that Mr. Lane Kiffin, is what wins championships. This kid was committed since June of last year and never wavered, how refreshing.


Desmond Parks: Tight End | Greer, SC
height: 6-4 | weight: 218 | 40 yards in 4.62 seconds | tres estrellas
Whether he knows it or not, he could end up being VERY important. With Tate Casey and CI gone as of right now he is the only Tight End we have other than Aaron Hernadez -- who by the way I’d like to officially dub “Tony Gonzalez Part Deux” -- what a papi stud he is. This all changes if we get Orson Charles, but if we don’t, Desmond better get with the program “broda” (that was a Desmond from LOST reference for all the slow inbred Tennessee trolls out there).

Edwin Herbert: Defensive Tackle | San Francisco, CA
height: 6-3 | weight: 295 | 40 in 4.81 | cuatro estrellas
This is a JUCO d-tackle so he’ll be expected to produce right away…Urban had to go all the way to San Fransisco to get him. By the way, notice that 8 of the 16 commits this year were from out of state…I think this signals that UF is quickly developing a national recruiting presence a la USC and ND. Not that we depend on that because our home base is so strong here in FL but it’s nice to know you can go make a sandwich in somebody else’s kitchen if need be.


Jon Halapio: Offensive Lineman | St. Petersburg, FL
height: 6-4 | weight: 302 | 40 in who cares | tres estrellas
This guy’s is a Polynesian beast (Urban loves those guys because he coached a lot of them at Utah) who looks like an elephant version of Troy Palamalu (hopefully he plays about half as well as Troy, if so we are in good shape).


Kyle Koehne: Offensive Lineman | Indianapolis, IN
height: 6-6 | weight: 290 | 40 in who cares | tres estrellas
When you get to the bottom of the class, lets face it, it’s hard to distinguish between one big fat o-lineman and another. So I had to put him dead last based on his pic. Sorry dude, I hope you’re a killer but that mug shot is too funy…can I suggest a little facial hair? 

Called To The Office

UPDATE: SEC CONFERENCE HAS REPRIMANDED KIFFIN FOR VIOLATING SEC POLICIES:
"SEC Bylaw 10.5.1 clearly states that coaches and administrators shall refrain from directed public criticism of other member institutions, their staffs or players," SEC Commissioner Mike Slive said in a statement. "The phone call to which Coach Kiffin referred to in his public comments is not a violation of SEC or NCAA rules. We expect our coaches to have an understanding and knowledge of conference and NCAA rules."

So Kiffin thinks Meyer's a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater. Someone lied to Kiffin about his own and his team's relevance and with his newfound self-belief he's now accusing college football Overlord Urban Meyer of cheating by allegedly calling NuKeese Richardson on his cell phone. Layla's husband said he "love[s] the fact that Urban had to cheat and still didn't get [Richardson]."

Forget that calling prospects is not a violation of NCAA recruiting rules-- the same rules which Spurrier told Kiffin it would behoove him to read before violating them himself-- the real question is: Where does Kiffin get the standing to make such remarks?

Kiffin has never won a game in the SEC or any championship of any kind. The most significant thing he's done is his wife, whom he reportedly Amtrak-ed to entice recruits. The University of Tennessee's football team has lost every game they played against Urban's Gators. Tennessee's program publicly humiliated their former coach who put them on the map. And they're mountain uglies. I mean, really, you don't hear Kentucky coaches talking shit, because they know they lack the standing to do so. This is a man and team disconnected from reality.

Not for long.

Saying that you "love the fact that Meyer cheated" is on its face slander. You are stating that it was a "fact" that Meyer cheated when it is not, and you know it is not. That is an actionable claim. And I assure you, there will be action.
Well, now Kiffin is back-pedaling and has issued an apology stating that he didn't mean to offend anyone at UF, or Foley, or Meyer.

Too late, fuckboy.
It's on.

Go add another poster to the weight room bulletin board.
Go Gators.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Is This Real Life?



At least his 'rents are building up his tolerance so he can challenge the Jota's Gainesville record-setting foreign intoxicant consumption. 2 fingers? 4 fingers? Next comes the fist, kid. You know, the piston.


Go abuse substance.
Go Gators.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Pillowtalk.


I love vintage horror movie posters with overtly-suggestive underwear clad girls. Click on the image, they get bigger. Fucking great right? 

Ok, so Buddy Martin's a damn fine sports writer. You know him as the author of Urban's Way: The Rise of the Gator Nation, The Fourth Reich. I just read Martin's nice little piece on the present recruiting nonsense and other whatnots. I highly recommend you do the same.

Off to bed now. Big day tomorrow. :Sigh:ning day. Look for Wall Street Gator's "Recruiting Brief" tomorrow.

Go Slumber.
Go Gators.


Kids and Water Coolers.


Tomorrow, a whole bunch of 17 year olds decide whether they'll be Gators or losers. The Gators did not get the recruiting bump that they expected, but the word is that they'll get it next year. But next year's recruiting is not what we're talking about. 

The rumor mill always churns out shit for consumption. I try to not keep too abreast of recruiting news because the vacillating commitments and doublespeak drive me nucking futs. One must understand that writers have deadlines and need to print news-- even if there is no news. This demand creates supply. They'll have you believe that today is the first day of the Exodus if you let them, so don't. The shit you hear about Debose and others wavering on their verbals is likely just that: shit. Until such shit is substantiated, then it's speculation, and likely, speculation created to keep you coming to the site, and consequently, adding page impressions and click-throughs. 

I keep hearing about Debose riding out to go to that school out west. I think this is a load of horse hockey. Debose can play right away. He won't be the primary target, even secondary, or tertiary, but he'll have a spot on the receiving corps soon enough. It is probably the case that Debose will have to earn his spot by first playing on special teams, as had every other player under Meyer has had to. Should Debose excel in practice and in the Orange and Blue game, he will be rewarded and possibly start. But bear in mind that while the National Champions lost Percy and Murphy, they still have Thompson, Moore, Cooper, James, and Nelson returning. If one of those players goes down or plays poorly, one can expect to see Debose in the slot in a five receiver set. 

The fact is if Debose jumps ship and heads up north he'll play sooner than if he stays with the Gators. If he believes that playing immediately serves his interests more than training and competing for a spot, so be it. It's that sense of entitlement that has fucked up this country and her youth. This is a meritocracy. Competition begets excellence. This is a team. Teams don't serve the interests of its constituent parts, its constituent parts serve the interests of the team. I'll take a team player over a great player everyday and twice on Saturday. If you don't believe me, look at the Ft. Lauderdale Rainshowers. If he leaves, fuck him, I hope he enjoys his free shoes. If he stays, good for him, and us. 

It appears that Jelani Jenkins will be going to the University of Florida. This is not certain, but the consensus has it that he will not go to Penn. St. Jenkins would be a great catch for the Gators. He's the top outside linebacker prospect in the country. He runs a sub 4.5 40 yard dash. His most impressive quality is his 4.0 GPA. Intelligence is an asset that holds its value well on defense. If Spikes takes this kid under his tutelage, the sky is the limit for him. He will compete for playing time, but the Gators are returning all 11 starters and are one deep at every position. That doesn't mean that he won't play, it just means that he'll have to earn it. 

In the final analysis, the Gators are returning a very strong and deep team next season. The return of Timbow, Spikes, and friends evinces how deep the ties that bond the Gators run. They want to be here. So should every other kid worth his salt. The pundits are already picking the Gators to win next year's national championship. Such predictions aren't made with recruiting in mind. Whether we get Jenkins or Debose or which ever other 3-, 4-, 5-star kid, we will contend for a national championship. How many stars is that worth?

Go Reload.
Go Gators.